Heart Diagnosis: Broken
by Paopu Pop
Summary: Sora is a young heart doctor with great life and wife. But what happens when his former high school friend Riku comes in as a patient? Read the story of a man lost between love and... love. Some Sokai, mostly Soriku and AkuRoku.
1. Chapter 1

**A/N: Hello, and welcome to this lovely fanfic that I have dubbed, _Heart Diagnosis: Broken, _starring the cast of KH! (cast grumbles) Ah, shaddup and keep reading your scripts.**

**First of all, for those of you who know nothing about hospitals and such, please note that not all of this is based on knowledge and is unrealistic. Next I'd like to mention that there is Sora/Kairi. That's just part of the drama! Kairi is _not _a bad character in this fanfic—it's not her fault that Sora lies to her. Oh, there's going to be AkuRoku (Axel/Roxas) too, but that'll happen a bit later. I may also stick in Leon/Cloud, BEG ME FOR IT. MWAHA.**

**I know many readers are probably unfamiliar with the medical field. Any terms that I find that people may not know I'll mention. I'll avoid medic talk as much as I can to have a nice flow to the story, but since Sora is a diagnositian for heart disease, some terms will come in. I'm not as smart as I sound—I had to research most of this.**

**Disclaimer: ShimaGenki doesn't own the rights to Kingdom Hearts… but she went and stole all the characters for her own, sick pleasures. Bwahaha.**

**Cardiology/cardiologist: The study of the heart/one who studies the heart.**  
**Palpitations: When a person feels a sudden irregular or fast heartbeat, either caused by a medical condition or a common thing such as exercise of some form, caffiene, lack of sleep, stress, etc.**  
**Ischemic Cardiomyopathy: A certain heart disorder in which the heart doesn't get enough blood flow from from the arteries, usually from something like CAD (coronary artery disease) or a heart attack.  
Coronary Artery Disease: A disease in which the coronary arterties are blocked, not allowing bloodflow to come into the heart.  
Lisinopril: An ACE inhibitor, which is used to make it easier for the heart vessels to pump blood.  
Metolazone: A diuretic, which helps rid the body of extra fluid and salt.  
Carvedilol: A Beta-blocker, which is used to slow the progress of heart failure and possibly improve pumping function.  
Digoxin: Medication used to help the heart beat more strongly and regularly.**

_**Heart Diagnosis: Broken**_

"_My heart's broken Doctor, in more ways than you think.  
Fix me before I'm a lifeless doll balanced on strings."_

_Chapter 1 – Sora_

He had been my best friend forever. No matter how the world seemed to change or how we grew inside, our friendship never mutated.

He was so strong, handsome and well… not to be cliché, but perfect. He always made me want to try my hardest to keep up with him, whether or not _he _was trying his best. He was my role-model for many years—like the big brother I never had.

For some reason though, he was always slightly… enigmatic. Maybe that was just something else that drew me to him though, as I've always been dangerously curious.

But when he kissed me for the first time… I melted. It was wrong, I know, but it just had felt so right at the time. And that friendship—the brotherly love I felt for him—morphed into something he and I called love.

He promised to stop when I thought we went too far… and he did.

He promised he would protect me from another predator, someone waiting to prey on me, while he was there… and he did.

He promised he would never leave me, that no matter which way the world swayed, he would be by my side forever… but…

That was a promise he did not keep.

_**S—S—S**_

"Sora, do you know where Riku is? I haven't seen him in a few days now." Kairi caught my distant attention. "No you don't… do you? What's wrong? You look so ill." A pale hand reached to touch my face, and I leaned into the touch.

"I don't know where Riku is. I've been calling the house, but there's no answer. And I haven't had the chance to go over there, I was working the past two days, so I'm going over today after school. It's really odd though…" I heaved a great sigh, pressing my cheek harder into her palm. "Maybe he went on vacation and forgot to tell me about it."

"Forgot to tell you?" Kairi raised an eyebrow. "Sora, the boy always checks to make sure you know he's going to the _bathroom._"

"I guess you're right…" I mumbled.

"That didn't make you feel any better, did it?" she asked with remorse.

"No, it's okay. I just… I dunno. I'll worry about it after school." And I lifted my head up, giving her hand reason to fall to her lap.

The bell for homeroom rang through the nearly empty halls of the high school. I slumped in my seat as Kairi scrambled for her own. When she was settled, she gave me that _look. _"You're worrying now."

I grunted. "Shh… class is about to start." But excuses always came in handy to keep a friend quiet. I knew I shouldn't worry about it until afternoon like she said, but I couldn't help it.

_**S—S—S**_

After school, I didn't take my usual route home. Instead, I had taken an alternate path to my secret lover's home.

Approaching the house, right away a feeling of dread smacked me in the face. Something wasn't right. At the time, I neglected to notice that none of the cars were parked in the driveway…

Curiousity and worry led me to the front porch. I knocked several times on the wooden door. "Riku?" I called, continuing to rap my knuckles upon the entrance. "Riku!" My anger got the best of me, causing me to grasp the doorknob and twist, expecting nothing. Instead, the door opened a crack. This startled me. The Wilders _never _had their door unlocked. Fear built up in my gut and created a lump in my throat. What was wrong? When I walked through the door, I become completely numb.

Everything was _gone._

The antiques and the dressers they laid upon, the furniture the pictures on the walls… the house had been stripped of absolutely everything.

First, I thought I was dreaming. Then I realized that I wasn't asleep in my bed, but that I was standing right there… "Riku?" I called quietly. Half-heartedly, I expected to hear that sultry voice creep into my ear, whispering my name. But all I heard was my own voice ricochet off the empty walls. Before I could even think of what I was doing, my legs ran towards the stairs, my body tearing towards the room I had come to love after so many years.

It was empty too.

The bed he slept in. The dresser that he had kept his clothes in. The posters he adored. The mirror he would always check himself out in. The CD player that blasted his favorite tunes. The bookshelf with a myriad of novels and magazines.

It was almost as if it was a distant memory, or even a dream that never existed.

He was gone without a word or a way to find him…

I fell to my knees and began to sob quietly.

_**S—S—S**_

"Whoa! Geez…" My head throbbed, and I rose a hand to rub my temple gingerly, easing the pain. "Roxas?" I looked to the man who shook me awake. "What time is it?"

"It's 10:58 at night, Bro. Your wife is worried sick, so she sent me to see if you were still at work."

"Why _you_?" I grumbled, wearily rising from my chair and fishing through my pockets for my phone.

"Well, I'm the only other person she knows that has a key to the cardiologists' office." My twin brother gave me a smug smile… but at least he wasn't trying to pulverize me for the late hour it was. "So… I'll take a guess that you feel asleep at your paperwork. Having a bad dream?"

I blinked at him for a few moments. "How did you know I was—aha!" I swiped my cellphone from the front pocket of my pants, fingering it as I looked up to reask my question. "How did you know I was having a bad dream?"

"You were squirming like you usually do… and you're crying." My eyes widened, and I reached up to feel the wet tears on my face. Flushing, I wiped them away softly. "You're okay?"

"I'm fine," I breathed, not wanting to talk about the situation. "I'm perfectly fine, Roxas."

"You sure?" He crossed his arms and shifted his weight to his left foot. "People don't cry just because."

"It was just a dream, is all," I reassured him, patting his shoulder. "Now if you don't mind, I have a wife to apologize to and a home to get going to. Thanks for coming to get me, Rox."

"No prob. For Christmas, I'm getting you an alarm clock."

"What? But I already have one."

"I meant for your desk," he chuckled, walking out the door. When he was gone, I stood there for a moment in the empty room.

'_Riku… where are you now?'_

Giving my paperwork a momentary glance, I began to stack the folders up together in two piles, _done_ and _unfinished_. I would come in earlier than usual the next day just so I could complete the other papers. Patients were counting on me. As I set the last folder on the finished pile, I flipped my phone open with my free hand and pressed the speed-dial.

"Hun? Yeah, it's me. I'm sorry, I fell asleep at my desk. …uh-huh. Well, I'm just leaving now, it'll be about a half an hour before I get back. Okay? Go to sleep, and I'll be there then. I love you too. Bye."

I slipped the little phone back into my pocket. _'I love you too, but not like I once loved him…'_

'_Oh well, it's nothing but a distant memory now.'_

_**S—S—S**_

I entered the front door with cautious footsteps, praying that I didn't wake my sleeping spouse. Tiptoeing into the bedroom, I slipped off my shoes and began to pull off my jacket, followed by shirt. I reached into my dresser drawer for a nightshirt when I heard a soft moan behind me.

"Sora? Is that you?"

"Sorry, hun, did I wake you up?" I turned to the lump on the bed, otherwise known as my wife. "I was as quiet as—"

"No, I've been awake. Don't worry, you didn't keep me up."

"You were worried about me and couldn't sleep… right?" She didn't answer, meaning I was correct. I slipped on my shirt and began to undo the hinge on my belt. "I told you I was on my way…"

"I couldn't help it."

"It's all right," I responded, knowing she would attempt to apologize. "But I'm here now, so get some rest." I finished taking off my current pair of pants and pulled up a more cozy pair of pajama bottoms. I crawled next to her in bed, being _very _thankful that she wasn't one of those wives you smack you upside the head with a wooden spoon had you done anything stupid. "I'm so sorry, Kairi."

"You've said sorry three times now. I get the point." she hummed a chuckle, pressing her lips to my shoulder. God, I loved her. "Now let's _both _get some sleep before we end up drinking three cups of coffee in the morning just to function."

"You know I don't drink coffee…" I mumbled, feeling the drain of my previous nap pulling me back into dreams.

"Exactly," she chuckled softly, wrapping an arm around my stomach. "Love you."

"Love you, too." I kissed the top of her red head before I closed my blue eyes, forgetting the world around me.

_**S—S—S**_

"Sora… can you shut that thing off?" I heard Kairi murmur. There was a fuzzy noise in the background, but I just couldn't make it out. My head began to clear, and it became _beep-beep-beep, beep-beep-beep. _Finally realizing it was the alarm clock, I smacked the snooze button unnecessarily hard. When I heard the small time-keeper tumble to the floor, I came to my senses and picked it up to see the time.

"IT'S SIX-THIRTY?" Adrenaline gave me new-found energy as I bounded out of bed and began to grab a nice outfit for work, skipping the shower and breakfast as there wasn't even time for that. In reality it was 6:36, which was even _worse _than six-thirty.

"Sora, what's wrong?" Kairi said, sitting up slowly and yawning like a lazy cat.

"I'm gonna be late for work and I needed to be _early _to finish my papers!" I let out a string of unreasonable language as I tripped over the leggings of my pants and chucked the lab coat around my torso. "I'll come home as soon as I can Kairi, all right?" I ran over to her and pecked a kiss on her forehead before I raced on out the door. Of course, I didn't leave without shouting a "Goodbye, I love you!" on the way out.

Now, I know you shouldn't make up for lost time by speeding on the road, but my employment was in jeporady and I managed to skip all cops and speeding tickets on the way.

I bustled into Destiny Islands Center of Cardiology faster than the Cocoa Puff bird on crack, rushing to shove the punchcard into the machine. The tape that had the printed the employee number and time in on it told me I was on shift at 7:33, and I sighed a breath of relief. They wouldn't fire me for being _three _minutes late.

My breathing rate was more like a pant, and I walked back into my own room, facing the desk of papers I had left last night. Should I finish the ones from last night, or should I start looking at the ones today?

I guessed the ones from last night would have to be done during my lunch hour, I couldn't miss my patients that were coming in today.

Speaking of those papers, I had to go _get _them. I ambled right out to find the secretary, a sweet brunette, hard at work at her computer.

"Excuse me, Olette, do you have the papers for my patients today?"

She paused to look at me and gave me a geniune smile. "Um, yes Blackwell, give me a moment…" She reached over to a filing cabinet and fingered through it. Ms. Brunel, or Ollete, finally pulled out a small stack and handed them to me. "There you go. You have five patients today."

"Only five?" I asked.

"Your one o' clock appointment cancelled," she explained. "You should know from yesterday…"

"Oh, yeah, sorry, I… never got to those…"

"Blackwell, how could you not keep up on your _paper_ work?"

"I'm sorry! I'll get to at lunch, I promise! Thank you!" I turned away to find myself bumping into another man. "Oh, morning Roxas!"

The expression he wore on his face could _not _mean good. "…eh."

"Roxas?"

"I'm tired because a certain someone made me get up in the middle of the night to wake him up."

"Oh, that… I'm sorry, Roxas."

"It's all right, I know you didn't mean to." He walked up to the counter and asked Brunel to get his own papers, and then turned back to me. "I've had two cups of java, so I'll be good to go soon."

"Uck, coffee." I stuck out my tongue in disapproval. "It's bitter, but if I put sugar in it it'll taste like crap at the bottom."

"I think it tastes fine, and I can't function without it."

"Well, as long as you're functioning, everything'll be all right. What would Ame**(1)** do without her assistant?"

"I think she would be just fine," he chuckled. "Speaking of which, I gotta go. I'll see you around, 'kay?"

"Yup," I replied, starting to head back for my own office. I began to look through the files, scanning them over and recalling some familiar patients. The first one was a patient with a heart attack that I saw a couple of weeks back as a check-up to see how she was doing. She was a kind old woman, I hope the medicine I prescribed would keep her alive as long as she could go.

The second name that came up made my entire body freeze over with chills.

Listed in the name slot was _Riku Wilder. _He was a young man I'd never seen before, at age 27. Apparently he had been having some heart problems and was recommended by a Dr. Shimizu. **(2)** Dr. Shimizu… oh, _her. _She was living in Twilight Town in the United States mainland. For some reason the patient moved to the Islands from his current residence and needed new guidance for his health needs, so she recommended him to me. I had met Dr. Shimizu at a conference meeting some years ago, but I never imagined she would remember my name.

He was diagnosed by her with ischemic cardiomyopathy, a serious heart condition. The cause was of lack of blood flow was coronary artery disease, which went back to his grandfather, who had heart failure and died in his late forty's. He was currently taking all the needed medications to give him a comfortable life, and was taught the ways he needed to change his life in order to control his heart disease. The reason he was coming in was for a check-up, though it looked like he would need some blood work done soon.

The name and age had to be pure coincidence. No way could it be the Riku I knew those high school days. He was long gone and out of my life. This was probably a patient with a sullen face and broken dreams, looking for guidance to see how long he could possibly live his life with such a terrible illness.

I tried to block the thoughts that came whirling back out of my head by flipping to another page, and finishing up anything left to do (besides my overdue work) when a knock from Roxas on my office door told me my first patient was ready for her check-up.

Sighing happily, I walked back to my office after my first patient. I loved doing good for other people, especially people who seek it without anger. I even twirled in my spinning chair until I felt sick to my stomach, waking up to a decently good morning.

A few minutes later, it was time for the second check-up. Wondering who the bearer of a long-forgotten name could have been, I never hestitated to jump from my chair and stroll into the small white room.

"Hello, I'm Dr. Blackwell, and I'll be your…" I held out a hand to shake as I did routinely with my patients, but the words I normally spoke escaped me. There in front of me was the ghost of a past I didn't think would ever come to visit.

But the man took my hand and firmly shaked it. "Geez, Sora, you've barely changed. You even look a little boyish like you used to. I just can't believe you're a _doctor _now."

A decade of the feeling of abandonment, the ache of a bleeding heart, and the anger of a promise broken came rushing back in seconds. But it all melted away when the man in front of me, long silver hair pulled back into a high poiny-tail and bangs strung around his face, beamed at me. "Riku?..." I said quietly, not sure if I was speaking.

I think he could sense my sudden confusion and hurt, because his green eyes lowered a shade and eyelids closed a millimeter. "Sora, I'm sorry. I know I hurt you… but please understand, I did it because—"

I didn't want to hear excuses. I didn't want to listen to reason. I just wanted to do exactly what I did do—I fell into the arms that held me so long ago.

He was startled by this impulse, but quickly settled into it. "I know I broke your heart… but do you think you could fix mine?"

I realized just where we were again, as I pulled back to find the clipboard I had left on the counter on my side. "Mm… that's right. Just sit on the table right there." He turned to see what I was talking about, and jumped onto the ugly green table, the paper crinkling under his rear end. "Let's see, so… it says that you've already been diagnosed with… ischemic cardiomyopathy?" He nodded silently. "Really? How long ago was that?"

"Recently. I'd been having some heart troubles about twelve or so years ago, but when I was talking to Dr. Shimizu about… hmm… I guess it was three years back I started going to her, she said that she'd get me in for a couple tests, and saw it was ischemic cardiomyopathy."

"That's why…" I murmured, remembering the times when Riku would clutch his chest and suddenly pained. It wasn't just palpitations, it was a whole heart disease. He seemed to look at me weird, so I began to speak again. "And you're on… let's see… Lisinopril, Metolazone, Carvedilol and Digoxin?"

He nodded silently.

"All right. So… you've been all right lately then?"

"They seem to be working."

"Nothing unusual?"

He shook his head this time, still not responding.

"Do you need a refill on your medications then?"

"Yeah."

I began to write out the prescriptions. "All right, and there you go. Come back in a few weeks or sooner if anything wrong happens. You can just schedule another appointment at the front desk then." It felt so _mechanical. _I had never thought about it before, but I went through the same basic process with most of my patients when it came to precautionary check-ups. But now that a person who I've been connected to emotionally was sitting in front of me, I realized just how robotic I really was.

"Thanks." He jumped down from the table and smiled at me. "Um… Sora, you know, if you wanted to get reconnected now that I'm back in town, we could go out for dinner some night, or I could go over to your house—"

"Um, Riku…" I guess he never would have figured the small problem that came up.

"What? You're dating another boy? I'm sorry, I should have known. If you become available, I'll give you my number." He leaned over my clipboard and stole my pen, reaching for my hand. I pulled it away before he could grace it with a single smudge of ink.

"Riku, no, it's not another guy."

"Oh. Then what is it? You still mad at me?"

"I'm married."

If we had been stuck in an old cartoon, I swear Riku's jaw would have hit the floor so hard the tiling would have cracked. "Married?" The word didn't sound as happy as it usually did when one said it—but it gave more of a death-sentence ring. "T-to _who_?"

"Kairi."

Then a dismal look graced his features. "Oh… how long?"

"Two years." Normally at this point in this conversation, I beam and begin to chatter about silly moments when we first married, but for some reason, thinking about it made me sad. It wasn't that I didn't love Kairi, but seeing the one I thought I would love forever right in front of me…

It killed me inside. Had I not worn a ring on my left hand, I would have asked if we could go out that same night. But I promised Kairi to be back as soon as I could. I owed her for the previous night's incident.

"But… maybe he could go out just as friends," I piped up, trying to make up for it. But I guess nothing could make up for what either of us did. "Uh, I can't tonight, but I can call you and see about next week. Okay?"

"Um, yeah. That sounds good." He perked up just a bit, but not enough to give me a true-felt smile. "Do you want my number?"

I pointed to my papers. "I'm sure your number is with your name in the registry."

He looked at me for a moment, confused, but then breathed, "Oh," when it clicked. "Okay, then… next week then."

"Next week." There was so many more things I wanted to say, but this wasn't the time and place. There were so many questions that I needed to ask, but I needed time to think. He grasped the doorknob to leave, but I was able to say one thing before he headed out the door. "I thought I'd never see you again."

He paused, staring down at his hand as it turned ever so slowly to unhinge the door. "I'm sorry." And he left before I could even say farewell.

_**S—S—S**_

"Sora… your twelve-thirty appointment's here." Roxas peeked his head in the door, but I just kept staring at the wall. "Earth to Sora…"

"That was _him_," I said, almost to myself. "For ten years he had me wondering where he went, if he hated me or still thought about me, if he never even cared, if he was okay or on his deathbed… and now he's _here_."

Roxas rose an eyebrow. "What are you babbling about?" The look on my face must have made him realize. "Oh. _Him_."

"Don't tell me you still hate Riku," I said quietly.

"After the shit he put you through, how could I _like _him?"

"You never even had a reason to hate him."

He huffed. "He was a cocky ass who was terribly annoying." Riku and I had been friends most of our lives, and for a while Riku and Roxas were friends too, but through-out middle school something seemed to change. They began to fight over stupid stuff, and eventually they flat-out began to hate each other. I tried to balance out the two with my ongoing friendship with both, but they never made up. Soon Kairi made friends with Riku and then myself, never making friendship status with Roxas because of the silver-haired teen.

I once had a theory it was because Roxas was jealous that I looked up to Riku like an older brother, and Riku was jealous because me and Roxas were so interconnected as identical twins. I tried to approach both about it too, but that was a bad day, save the chocolate cake I shared with Riku and the new video game Roxas and I got.

"Anyway, you've got a patient sitting on a table in a freezing room." I jolted to my senses, and rose from my chair.

"I'll just tell them I'm running a few minutes behind," I said. "Most doctors do for some reason."

He chuckled. "Sure, excuses."

_**S—S—S**_

"Kairi… I'm home," I said, peeling off my coat and toeing off my shoes. She smiled at me as she walked in, wearing a soft pink sundress and armed with a wooden spoon. "See? Didn't fall asleep this time."

"You're still a bit late," she laughed, lightly hitting me with the spoon on my side and then kissing me on the lips. "I'm gonna have to beat you up."

"So _that's _what the spoon's for," I laughed, pulling away from the embrace to talk to her. "I thought I smelled dinner and believed you were being a good wife. Silly me."

"Sora!" She smacked me harder on my butt. "Fine! No dinner for you!"

"Oh, thank god. Your cooking could kill the strongest of men."

She giggled. "All the more for me then!"

"What _is _that smell anyway?" I said, finally dropping the stupid joke. "It's actually making me really hungry."

"Spicy chili, the way you like it. _Without _the kidney beans."

"You took them out this time? Oh, you _are _a good wife!" I hugged her. "Kidney beans are mushy and _dee-_gusting."

"Come on, terrible husband, let's go eat my terrible cooking. I was just making the rice."

"Mmm… sounds good."

We walked together, my arm around her shoulders and hers around my waist into the kitchen. Although Riku was still floating in my mind and made the pit of my stomach ill, I didn't regret marrying Kairi. She was sweet and loving, but capable of taking a good joke. And she was pretty too, a bonus. He had hurt me, it was his fault that I was no longer within reach.

…right?

"So, how was your day, hun? Anything interesting?" She always asked me that question, actually ready for some tales about my day at work. Besides Riku, my day had been rather boring, full of routine check-ups. I watched for a moment as she poured the redish-brown chili from the pan on the stove into a serving bowl.

I knew I shouldn't have said anything, but I thought since they were once friends too, she would be more than happy to hear the news that broke me. "Well… I had a rather interesting patient this morning."

"And that would be?"

"Well, his name was Riku Wilder."

She looked bewildered for a moment, setting the pan back down on the stove. "_Riku_? You're not talking about _Riku _Riku, are you?"

"None other. Apparently he's back in town."

"Riku…" Her eyes became misty. Apparently I wasn't the only hurt by his sudden leave. "W-well… why was he in your office?"

"Well, he has ischemic cardiomyopathy."

"Which would be?..."

"It's basically when the heart doesn't get enough blood because the blood flow is blocked."

Her eyes were now on the forest green counter. "Did you know?"

"Not until I looked at his file today."

"Riku… did he say why he left?"

"No, we really didn't have that much time to talk. I just refilled his prescriptions."

"Why don't we invite him over?" She said. "Then we can catch-up."

I promised him a private dinner for two next week… but this had the same meaning, right? And if he wanted a separate dinner, I could always arrange that. "Yeah. When does it suit you?"

"It suits me anyday, I'm working at the gift shop the same hours all week. See when the both of you can work it out. I'll cook and we'll talk over dinner."

I nodded. "Sounds good to me." I paused to smell the air. "Uh, Kairi, the chili left in the bowl is burning…"

"What?" She looked to see she had set the pot that was still a quarter full of chili back on the same, hot burner that she forgot to turn off. She lifted it up quickly and finished putting it in the bowl, unable to scrape the burnt substance on the bottom. "Oh, darn it! I'm such an idiot!"

"No you're not," I said, reaching across the stove to turn off the burner. "You didn't know, we were talking. It's my fault."

"It's not _your _fault," she said, carrying the bowl to the table as I took over the pan of rice with two oven mitts. "Well, whatever, it's done."

"Mmm… even if your food is suicidal, it smells so good I might just have to take my chances."

"Sora!" She laughed, smacking me with an oven mitt I had left on the table.

If only these moments could have lasted a little longer like this.

**(1)/(2) - Both of these names were changed for my friends. Danke.  
**

**A/N: So how was it? This is only the beginning, give it more time to really take off. The drama level is set on high. Whewt. **

**I take some time for updates, but if I get a decent amount done and lose inspiration, I may post what I get done thus far in my livejournal. I'll also chatter about the connections from the game to this story there too. The link for that is in my bio.**

**If no one reviews or if there's not enough, I'll stop caring and make this incredibly short, or drop the whole thing altogether. Sorry, reviews keep me happy. Okay? Good. REVIEW NOW.**


	2. Chapter 2

**A/N: Aaargh. I haven't had enough time to update as of late and my writer's block is as horrible as ever. I'm so sorry it took so long for the update!**

**I started the comparison for this fanfic in my livejournal… so go check it out if you're curious just how much this compares to the original game or my own life. There's more than you've probably figured out.**

**Now onto the actual fic, because I must be boring you out of your mind.**

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**_There are _NO _new terms for this chapter. Let me go over some relevant information if you care, but if not, you may skip down to the chapter._**

**Ischemic Cardiomyopathy is a heart disease in which the heart doesn't get adequate blood flow to the heart. A main cause of this, and in Riku's case, is CAD, or coronary artery disorder. CAD is when the coronary arteries (arteries that supply blood to the muscles of the heart) are blocked. CAD can be caused by things such as high cholesterol, a heart attack, (old people stuff), or through family history. The latter is from where Riku's condition comes from… because otherwise the condition is an even rarer case than it already is. (And it was stupid.)**

**People with these condition take four certain kinds of medication to take care of all the problems dealing with the heart _and _side-effects. People with ischemic cardiomyopathy cannot intake a lot of sodium unless they take a certain med… otherwise, they actually must take a huge change in diet. They also cannot drink a lot of liquids because the heart cannot handle a lot of fluid. That's why you'll see both Sora and Riku be so cautious about Riku's diet.**

**And now with all formalities aside, let us begin the show! Yay. :3**

* * *

_**Heart Diagnosis: Broken**_

_Chapter 2 – Riku_

* * *

"_I'm sorry."_

I wondered if I said it loud enough. I wondered if I could ever say it as much as I _mean _it. I couldn't think, my head swimming with an eternity's worth of regrets and sorrows.

I knew the moment that Dr. Shimizu recommended me to a Dr. Blackwell that it would be Sora. One of the things about him that I found fascinating is that he had taken an odd liking to the Health Discovery Channel when we were kids. But I begged, _pleaded _if there was anybody else. But she refused to budge—she wanted me to have the best of the best. Especially since I'm… well, as she put it, "a younger kid who deserves someone able to let me live the life I want."

If only she knew.

I plopped down on the mattress, the bed frame creaking under my heavy body. I heaved a loud sigh as the front door opened. But I ignored the intruder, instead I stared at the empty walls. We'd only been there for a few days, but the walls were still empty. They reminded me of my house before I left without a goodbye.

I had never meant to come back. It's not that I never _wanted _to come back, I yearned for this place the moment my feet hit the leaving boat's docks. But to think that I was still living, breathing, and now returning here… my heart could give out at any moment from the feeling.

My train of thought was lost amongst the cheery voice ringing throughout the small house. "A WHOLE NEW WOOOORLD, A PLACE I NEVER KNEEEEEEW!"

Under normal circumstances, I would have beaten the certain person's face in for singing so obnoxiously loud and badly. But this was a special person who could get away with anything but making my grilled cheese. He always left me breadcrumbs to lick.

"Hey, Riku!" The aforementioned friend stepped into the room. His skin was the color of rich chocolate, and had shoulder-length jet black hair. His face was brightened by a cheesy smile, hands tucked behind his back. Mickey was the most upbeat man I'd ever met in my life. "How was your day?"

"Eh."

"'_Eh'_? You never say 'eh' unless something's wrong."

"I met him today."

"Sora?"

"Yeah." The reason why we had come back actually had practically nothing to do with me. When I moved to Twilight Town, I met a few friends in high school, including the one I was talking to now. We got shared an apartment in Twilight Town, and now that he has a teaching job on Destiny Islands, we moved back here. He'd always wanted to live on a small island… so he got his wish. I just wonder sometimes if he had picked the right island or not.

Or did he do it on purpose, I wonder…

"Aaaand?"

"He's married."

"Oh. So there's no hope?" I had long since told Mickey about my sexuality _and _my first (and only) ex-boyfriend.

"None. I don't know, I should have _known… _but how was I supposed to…"

"Persevere. Find another man. …just not me, I don't swing that way, and even if I did I met the most _gorgeous _woman the other day…"

Mickey was quite a card. I laughed.

"But anyway, enough about Minnie. My point is, Riku, be strong. He's happy, so shouldn't that make you happy?" I nodded. "You know what they say, 'there's more fishies in the big blue, salty sea.' Not that you can _handle _that much salt—well actually we're talking two completely different salts—but back onto topic, you get to see Sora… isn't that enough?"

"It's _more _than enough," I replied. "But… you know, all that aside, I'm still… sad." My eyes drifted towards the dresser in thought. "I had this false hope that he'd still be willing to take me back… that he'd forgive me for being so selfish for not saying goodbye, but…"

My friend walked over to the bed and plopped his rump down beside me, patting the side of my thigh comfortingly. "Hey, it's okay. I understand, and you have every good reason in the world to be sad. But please… don't start stirring things up."

Bewildered in his last statement, I matched my face with my feelings. "What?"

"Don't try to pick things up from where you left off. A broken bridge can't be solely rebuilt from where it was broken—you have to repair so much more of it. And maybe one day it'll work, but it'll never be the same."

It was moments like these that I knew Mickey was meant to be a teacher. "You're right." I wished he _wasn't_, but I guess it couldn't be helped. "I just want to be his friend, if he lets me in."

"I'm sure he will. If he's your friend, then I bet he has the heart. Don't worry, things will work out."

I sighed. "I hope to God it does."

* * *

_**R—R—R**_

* * *

I wrestled with the bed sheets in my sleep. It was hard to dream peacefully when his face kept approaching my thoughts. He'd be there, but then he would leave. I'd try to love him, but then he would back away. It was a long night, and it was even so bad that I clasped my hands and prayed I'd be put to sleep.

But the alarm clock buzzed when I was still half-awake. Mickey had left hours ago, I knew, so turned it off and proceeded to get ready for a long day at work. That didn't go, of course, without doing my normal morning routine, weighing myself on my scale and writing it down in the diary that I left in the bathroom.

"_Today I'm feeling all right. I'm tired, but I was anxious and couldn't sleep. It feels like it might be a bad day today—I'm feeling exhausted and I've barely started today yet."_

I rode my bike to work like I always did in Twilight Town. It was recommended that I got exercise, so instead of a car, I got my work-out that way. I'd always leave so I would be about a half-hour early, just in case I had to stop to rest. Today was no different—and I had a feeling I might need the thirty minutes.

My bike was fastened to the bike rack five minutes late. I shouldn't have finished up the trip, I was short of breath, but I was already late. The miniature golf-course wasn't open yet anyway, so it would all be okay.

I walked in the back room, the adjustment from the warm air outside to the cool room inside making my head spin a bit faster. I saw my boss standing by the food supplies, but I turned away so I could punch myself in to work. Next thing I knew, I felt my arm being tugged. I looked to see it was; a girl with blonde hair cropped to her shoulders.

"Morning," I mumbled, as I went to find my tan visor and green name tag on my hook.

"You're the new guy, right? You look absolutely awful!"

Although I did see that my sweat had begun to soak through my pink uniform shirt, I really hadn't had a chance to see myself in a mirror. "I rode my bike." Although that was the truth, I was more exhausted from the bike ride than I should have been.

"You rode your _bike_?"

I nodded. "Why not? It's good exercise."

"Okay… sure. Anyway, does that mean you'll need training? That's funny, it's mostly the younger kids who always need training."

"He won't need that much training, Larxene. He worked here many years ago, and we haven't changed our methods much since then." Tifa popped up behind the girl, the name _Larxene _quickly being burned into my mind. "Just take it easy today, Riku. You don't look so good."

"I rode my bike, but my heart threatened to stop halfway through." Now _that _was the truth. "Sorry I'm late."

"Don't worry about it. Here, I'll start showing you what we've changed during the last ten years." I followed her about, the old memories of me and Sora floating about in each part of this place.

The times we'd dig into the ice cream and steal multiple "samples."

How many burnt hot dogs we used to consume after open hours, not without pouring multitudes of ketchup, mustard and relish on top.

When Sora would look so damn bored in that clubhouse and I'd go down to talk with him or make plans to go out.

It was all like a poison, slowly devouring my insides and whatever remained. And I felt ill with this depression and my weakened heart all day. I even called Mickey when the shift was over at four o' clock, telling him I was too weak to get myself home that day.

It took no longer than five minutes for me to get in the front door and plop myself down on the couch in the living room, beginning to fall asleep. I swore I felt a blanket being pulled over me as I drifted off and Mickey's voice fuzzy and incomprehensible, floating in my ears.

Several fingers were running through my hair when I came to. At the time, all I could think was, _'how long was I asleep?' _I was still weak, and could barely speak. But the fingers kept going, sometimes twisting a lock momentarily. Mickey had never done anything like this before. Maybe he was worried?

"Are you awake?" I tried to say something, but I found myself zapped of strength to even do much of that. "Hey, Riku?"

"Yeah." The word cracked as I said it.

"Hey, are you okay?"

"Yeah. …just a bad day. And not enough sleep." I kept my words short and simple.

"Why couldn't you sleep?"

"Sora."

"Hmm?"

"_Sora,_" I tried to say it a little louder so he could hear me.

"_What_?"

"It's Sora!"

"Yeah, what do you _want_? I heard what you said."

I was puzzled. What was he talking about? Then my eyes caught a glimpse of the fingers that were petting my head—they weren't Mickey's… unless he pulled a Michael Jackson while I wasn't looking.

"Uh… wait a minute…" I tried to flip over, but the body planted on top of the blanket pulled over me earlier had me pinned to the cushions. I was just able to turn my neck uncomfortably to look at him. "Sora, is that you?"

"Who did you _think _I was?"

"Mickey," I replied, embarrassed. My cheeks began to flush.

He chuckled. "That explains it. So… you couldn't sleep because of _me_? I'm sorry."

"It's nothing you did. I'm the one who should be—"

"Hey! Relax before you put yourself in cardiac arrest." His hand moved to my shoulder now, rubbing it soothingly through the blanket. "Don't worry about it. It's been a long day for me too, and I'm perfectly healthy." I said nothing. "I called earlier today to talk to you, but Mickey answered and said you were still asleep and was kind of worried, so I came over to make sure you're all right."

"Mm. Hey, Sora?"

"What is it?"

"Do you… do you hate me now?"

"Do I… _no_, of course not! I could never hate you!"

"Why?"

I heard him sigh. "Riku… I love you. I always _will _love you. If this is about Kairi… I love her too, and I chose to live the rest of my life with her. Just because you walk back into my life doesn't mean I can drop my entire life and try to pick up from where we left off. Please don't let that keep us from being friends, but I just… I just can't be with you like that anymore. It's not Kairi's fault either, so don't blame her for it."

"I would never think of blaming Kairi. I'm glad of all people you picked her, instead of some man whore."

"Riku… why did you leave, anyway?"

I knew he would ask me this question. For a moment, the room felt like it had been entirely emptied of sound. When I spoke, it felt like somebody tore my stomach out. "Since we didn't have a center for cardiology here ten years ago, my parents wanted to move me to a place where we could get specific help for me."

"You didn't say goodbye?"

"I couldn't."

"You couldn't say _goodbye_?" His voice sounded choked with tears. Guilt rose over me like an ocean storm. "Riku, I… I blamed _myself_ for everything! I thought it was because of _me _you never said anything! Was that it? Did you really never love me?"

"Sora, that's not what I—"

Our voices steadily increased in volume. "You _promised _never to leave me! That you'd be there for me _forever_!"

"I was afraid!"

"Afraid? What the hell could get you to be afraid of one word?"

"I was afraid that it'd be my fault you were alone for the rest of your life! That I would never see you again—but you'd keep waiting for me and never be happy! I was so scared just to leave… I never thought I'd be alive long enough to come back." Now we were both crying. "I didn't want you to keep hoping one day I'd come back, because I thought I was too sick to ever live even through high school. And I see that it worked—you're married to a wonderful girl and you have the job you've always wanted. I'm _so _sorry for any tears you've cried because of me, because it wasn't worth it. _I'm _not worth it." By the end I was panting, still tired.

"Don't say that. You were always worth it. I just… I just wished I could have grown old with you."

"You and I both know that I'll be lucky to live in my forties."

"But that doesn't change how I feel."

"What we feel and what we can have are two different things, Sora." I lifted a hand from under the blanket to reach his own, which rested on my shoulder. "It's out of reach, so don't hurt yourself trying."

Sadly I had to tell myself this as well. I wasn't sure how long I could keep from kissing his sweet lips.

"It's not fair. If you… If I…"

"It doesn't matter what's happened. Kairi'll be there for you until you grow old and become confined to your beds. I, on the other hand, may live long enough to retire from a shitty job."

The rest was filled with an uncomfortable pause. That was, until Sora finally spoke up again, "Well… I know you wanted to have a night out as the two of us, but Kairi wanted to know if you wanted to come over to my place soon. I'm free this Friday night. What about you?"

"That's fine for me," I muttered. As much as I missed Kairi too, I kind of just wanted to be with _just _Sora. Although I guess it was for the best—it would be easier to control myself from doing something we would both end up regretting. "Any specific time?"

"How does… six sound?"

"Perfect."

"And I'll even make sure it's a perfect dinner for you. No salt, no cheese, no canned crap, et cetera."

I chuckled. _Canned crap._ Sora was still his spunky self in an adult's body. "Thanks."

It seemed like our entire fight never happened, that our _romance _never happened. We were still friends, sitting in the living room, talking about stupid teachers and fun video games, watching some television before we fell asleep. We were best friends and nothing in the entire world could change that. Even when a girl made us a trio, we were still as close as ever as three.

"Anyway, it's getting late, and Kairi might get worried I fell asleep again."

I eyed him curiously. "Again?..."

"Two nights ago I fell asleep at my desk and didn't come home until midnight. Don't worry about it." He rose from the couch and tussled with my hair a final time. "I'll leave directions to my house on the way out. Oh… by the way, did you take your medication yet?"

"…no."

"Get up, eat, take 'em, and then go back to bed. Don't skip your meds."

"I know, I know," I grumbled, not moving from the spot.

"…you're not going to get up when I leave, are you?"

"Maybe."

"Riku!" He tugged on my arm. "Get… up!"

"Nngh." I tucked a foot in-between the cushions, making a sad attempt to anchor myself to the couch.

"I don't want you to die! Rise, come hither, do something other than be lazy!" He leaned down to take hold of my entire torso in his arms, and rolled my entire body off with a very loud thump. "Hah! I win."

He was surprised when I took grip of his shirt and pulled him down with me. "No. _I _win. I'm still not up."

His body was on top of mine in such a way that it made it slightly difficult to breathe. But I clung onto him like a life preserver, not allowing him room to move. "Seriously, man, you're the last person I want in my office tomorrow."

"I'll take it, all right, all right. Don't have a cow." I freed him from my grip, and he eagerly rose so he could offer his hand to me. I took it, awkwardly rising from the floor. The room spun momentarily, and I fell into his arms when my legs trembled from under me.

I was stunned. His two arms felt so warm, my heart almost stopped from the feeling of ecstasy. For a moment, I thought of kissing him—but had to control myself and pull away. "Thanks," I mumbled.

"You bet." He strolled over into the kitchen, finding a tablet and pen conveniently on the counter and began to scratch directions on it. In the meantime, I helped myself to the fridge, finding nothing all that appetizing (at least, nothing appetizing that I was allowed to _eat_,) and settled for the leftover stuffed peppers from the other night. I pulled out a fork from the drawer and began to eat, not really minding that it was cold.

"I'll see you Friday, then." He set the pen down on the tablet, the first page now filled with directions. "Take care in the meantime."

"You too," I said with my mouth full, waving as he headed out the door. "See ya."

Friday. It was only two days away, but it felt like forever until then.

* * *

_**R—R—R**_

* * *

The air was heavy with humidity and filling the car through the open windows. I wiped the perspiration on my forehead away with the back of my hand, sighing. Mickey, who was at the wheel, chuckled. "Nervous?"

"Nervous?" I peered over at him, raising a brow. "Why would I be _nervous_?"

"Well, you know, it's been a while since you've actually spent time with Sora. And now it'll probably be awkward, because he's married to Kairi and everythin'. It's natural to be nervous, even if there's really no reason why."

Mickey really knew how life worked. "I guess so. Okay, maybe I'm a little nervous, but not really shaken. I'm feeling much better today… and I don't have to worry about food I can't handle."

He laughed. "Glad to hear. Oh! There's the house!"

My gaze shifted to the house—number 213. It was a small house (as most homes were on Destiny Islands) that was painted white with light blue frames and front door. It was sweet, but not _sugary _sweet. When the car was stopped, I unbuckled my seatbelt and climbed out. "Thanks, Mickey. I'll call you when I want you to come."

"No problem, buddy. I'll be at home waitin' then." And then he was gone.

I fiddled with the bottom of my top as I approached the front door. Did I look bad? I examined myself, looking down at my ensemble. I was wearing casual black shoes, blue jeans, and a striped flannel shirt. My long hair was tied back in a loose, low ponytail. At the moment, I couldn't think of why I cared about the way I looked.

"_It's natural to be nervous—even if there's really no reason why."_

Silently I accepted his words and rung the doorbell. In moments, there appeared a young woman opening the door. She gasped, and before I could say hi I was locked in a death grip.

"Riku! Oh gosh, it's been too long!" Releasing me to look at me, her hands gripped my biceps. "You've gotten _taller_? I didn't think it was possible!"

"You've gotten… prettier too." I had a chance to look down at her—she lost the little girl figure and truly looked like a young woman now. It was amazing what ten years could do to a person.

She smiled shyly. "Well, come in, come in! I just finished setting the table." She held my wrist and led me inside. Instantly the smell of warm food hit my nostrils, and I took a deep breath of it as I was pulled towards the dining room. My eyes wandered the halls, the shelves topped with trinkets and cute antiques.

"Kairi, try not to kill our guest," I heard as I stumbled across the wooden floors. Sora was setting a plate of sliced turkey on the table while he talked, a smile across his face. "I think he'd like some dinner before he dies. That is—dies from your horrible cooking."

"_Sora_! Stop making fun of my cooking before you end up like that turkey on the table!" I watched her grab a random serving spoon on the table and threaten him with it.

"Ooh! A spoon! I am _sooo _scared!"

I couldn't hold it back anymore—I laughed. Both of them gave me the most puzzled look, but I just couldn't get it to stop. "I'm sorry… but… you two fight like an old married couple."

They looked at each other and blushed. "Well, we _are _married…" Sora said, scratching the back of his neck with a hand. "Uh… that is…" For a moment, I saw something flicker in his eyes—a falter in his mood before his smile picked back up. "We're just not old yet."

Kairi giggled momentarily. It seemed as if she had never seen the lapse in his laughter as she put the spoon back on the table cloth and declared that dinner was served—and was certainly not deadly.

* * *

_**R—R—R**_

* * *

"Well, dig in, Riku. Don't worry, all of its fresh and non-salted." Sora passed me a bowl of broccoli and I served myself. There was a tense kind of silence floating about the table—as if everybody wanted to ask something but nobody could find the words to begin.

"Well, I—"

"So how—"

"Where have—"

The three of us looked at one another, and mumbled the basic comment of, "you go first." And again, it became silent. Who knew that such a terrible mistake I made could make us go to this? And thus, became my decision to finally speak up.

"So how's life been here?"

The couple across the table looked at each other. "Um, good," Kairi replied. "I… Riku, why did you leave? Or at least, why didn't you say anything?"

The question was like an abrasion against my skin. I couldn't tell her the truth—I had no idea if Kairi ever knew that Sora and I had been together. So, quickly I explained the situation with my condition and leaving the island, filling the gaps of minor details dealing with Sora with white lies.

"Well, it's nice to see your face again," Kairi said, giving me a soft grin. "I thought I'd never see it again."

"Me too," Sora chimed.

I smiled at both of them and continued to enjoy our company together. Unknowingly, it was the silence before the storm.

* * *

_**R—R—R**_

* * *

That night, I laid in bed, my eyes burning into the ceiling that I could not see in the darkness. I heard soft footsteps in the room, before I cried, "oomph!" as a large lump fell on my stomach.

"Ansem!" I hissed, slightly annoyed. He mewed, his small cat paws crawling all over me before settling in the curve of my side. I petted his head with my hand, and he purred. "Aww… fine, do whatever you want."

Ansem could get away with almost anything as long as it didn't include claw scratches along my nose. And although I was rather irritated that I was unable to move bed sheets with a furry animal nuzzled on top, it was nice having the company. Settling in, I closed my eyes to the unbreakable silence, save for the soft breathing of my pet and I.

"_I wonder if Sora's thinking of me too," _I thought. _"No, it's too late… he's a married man and can't be with me. …but that can't mean that he doesn't _love _me, right? Oh well, it doesn't matter. He would never… he could never… _we _could never…"_

And thus, I became a victim of dreams.

* * *

**A/N: Eeeehhh… there ya go. I really don't have much else to say about this chapter. Review or I'll (insert dramatic threat here)!**


	3. Chapter 3

**A/N: (ducks under a table) Don't kill me, okay?! I know it's been an **_**awfully **_**long time since I updated, but this sucker isn't dead yet. I won't allow it to die. D:**

**There's no medical terms because this chapter is based soley on character relationships.**

**Because it's been so long, rather than make you go back and scan what happened, let me provide a brief summary:**

_Sora__ goes to his job at the Destiny Island's Center of Cardiology to find out that his newest patient is Riku, the boy he used to be in love with… until Riku suddenly disappeared. Riku explains how he had left 10 years __prior because of his heart condition, Ischemic Cardiomypathy. The problem is that Sora is married to Kairi, and there is no way for Sora and Riku to have a relationship together. Roxas later talks to Sora, making sure his brother knows how much he really despises Riku._

_Riku now lives with a friend he met in Twilight Town, Mickey, who teaches at a school on Destiny Islands. Riku explains to Sora that the reason why he left without saying anything was to assure that Sora didn't keep any hope that Riku would come back for him… which apparently worked. Riku reacquaints with Kairi when he has dinner at Sora and Kairi's._

**And now, our story starts again…**

* * *

_**Heart Diagnosis: Broken**_

_Chapter 3 – Roxas_

* * *

"**So, Roxas, I wanted to know if you were free tomorrow…"**

I twirled the phone cord in-between my slender fingers, and then coiled it around my index. "Hmm… yeah, I haven't made plans yet. Where do you want to meet?"

"**At the fountain in the mall. How about at… three o' clock?"**

"Sounds fine. Three o' clock it is. See ya." I hung the phone back on the receiver. Unlike Sora, who lived in a small house with his wife, my residence was but a small apartment in a complex in the busier part of town. Sora could get away with calling me at 11 o' clock at night, but if _I _had called _him_, inevidently I would have wakened up Kairi. And that would have made me feel guilty.

I turned on the television (for I had mistakenly drank a Coke and the caffeine was robbing me of sleep) and hoped for something mildly interesting.

Skipping over multitudes of channels that did not catch my interest, I concluded that it was going no where. The only thing they played at night anymore were sex and violence for the losers who didn't get sleep. There had to be _something _I could do to put myself to sleep.

The first thing that came to mind was something chemical like pills or alcohol. I didn't have sleeping pills (but I wouldn't have taken them anyway) and I never drank, therefore not even having beer.

My next option was physical exhaustion—but that would require exercise… and that would create noise—thus waking my neighbors beside and below my room. Pissing off my "neighborhood" was not ideal for making friends, especially adding it to the fact that I was aloof.

Although, I _could _run outside…

It was perfect… well, as perfect as it would get. Even though it's well known that freaks are wandering about the streets near midnight, Destiny Islands was practically microscopic on a country map, therefore making the count of possible late night weirdoes approximately two. My friend Hayner had taught me a couple fighting moves a few years ago, so I could just punch them out of my way. It was all the more exercise for me.

I pulled on a pair of jeans over my green boxers, slipped a blue jacket on top of my red shirt, and snuggled my feet into a black pair of sneakers. I almost forgot to grab my room and apartment keys as I ran out and nearly shut the door. I stopped at the last second and ran back inside, pocketing my keychain. And I was off again, jogging all the way down the steps and out of the building.

Even as a small city, the bright neon lights looked beautiful in my eyes. Something about city lights had always fascinated me—I could never really put my finger on it—but the vibrant, busy colors danced and seemed to wake me more. The cars zoomed by, keeping the night from being silent, and my lungs were filled with exhaust. Not that I minded—I had been living in the city since I had graduated high school and I was used to it.

I had jogged about two blocks when I hit the main streets with the shops. Most of the stores were closed down for the night. No storekeeper on the islands stayed awake at late hours. I halted in my pace for a moment, out of breath from the constant running. Beads of sweat dribbled down the sides of my face. _'I should run more often… I have no aerobic endurance, and I'm a _cardiologist _for Pete's sake!'_

"And I thought I was the only person who walked these streets at this hour… hey, you okay, kid?"

"Kid?! I'm _twenty-six_!" Without thinking, I yelled loudly at the man who addressed me, looking up to him. The second I saw his face, I swore I had made a mistake indeed.

He was tall—much taller than I. Or maybe his wild red hair gave him the appearance of his massive height… its spiky and untamed manner gave me the impression of a flame. He had markings on his cheeks below his eyes; they were black and had a diagonal sort of shape and reminded me of teardrops, but it was hard to say if they were permanent tattoos or not. He was dressed in black from head to toe—a basic tee, leather pants, and boots… all of it was gothically _black. _Around his neck was a silver chain with small, equally silver beads strung on it.

Damn. Of all the people… it had to be one of the two weirdoes I estimated.

"Oh, sorry. You just looked so young… Twenty-six? Really? Are you sure you're not exaggerating, like, eight years?"

"Yes, I'm twenty-six." Even as his words seemed to tease, his tone was modest and kind. Maybe he wasn't so bad after all. But I wouldn't let my guard down; he may have tried to steal the money I currently lacked. All I had on me was my keys and the clothes on my back.

"Hm. Wow… I'm sorry. I didn't mean to insult you, really."

"It's no big deal, I get it all the time." Although I don't talk to many people, it was true that often times people would treat me like a senseless teenager, or young high school girls would stare at me (or bat their eyelashes at me or _whatever_ stupid girls do) because I looked too young for my age. Sora never seemed to have this bad of a problem… maybe it was my hair. Mental note: dye hair black and cut it in a different style.

"Well, uh… what are you doing out here at this hour? Nobody's ever out here."

"I couldn't sleep, so I thought I'd run myself to sleep. What about yourself?"

"I always walk around town at night. The vivid colors make me feel alive…" Something in my chest rattled. It was in the particular look in his eyes… as if his gaze pierced through the buildings.

"Well, I should be off. Maybe we'll meet up again sometime, huh?" The man turned and began to walk away. My breath hitched—something about the stranger made my heart beat faster… I couldn't tell what, but I knew that I would wait for the next time we met. It was a small town, and he could be easily picked out from a crowd.

He was several feet away when I finally gathered the courage to shout. "Wait! What's your name?"

He twisted his head as he walked, holding one hand had as an "L" and pressed it to his forehead. "It's Axel, commit it to memory." He flicked his wrist so that his index finger pointed into the air. "And yours?" **(1)**

"I-it's Roxas! Don't forget it!" I felt as if I urged him to burn it in his mind, perhaps it would mean something to him. But that was just a thought—I did not believe it would happen as he turned away without another word. Did I see a smirk on his face before he showed his back? Maybe…

Now that I had recovered my breath, it was time to run back to the apartment and hope to get some shut eye.

* * *

_**X—X—X**_

* * *

So much for _that _theory. The next afternoon, my body longed for a bed and my eyes pleaded to shut. I had a cup of Sally Sue's coffee in my hand, but it was too hot to drink. Where was Sora? It was ten after three, and I was standing at the fountain looking like an idiot that was shown up by his date. Maybe I was just being impatient and irritable. Even sleeping in until noon made me drowsy, but I couldn't fall asleep that night until God knows when. 

After the caffeine wore off the previous night, the man from the street—Axel—was on my mind. I wondered who he was, what he was really like, what he did in a day, why he had talked to me so nonchalantly, and when we'd run into each other again. Thinking of him made my heart ache. But why? Was it that I found him appealing in some way, that I wished to be his friend?

The metaphorical heart differed so much from the organ—it did not simply pump blood in and out through four chambers, but rather it acted in strange ways. And now, it wriggled in my soul, almost as if it wanted me to find this man instead of waiting idly.

I decided that I needed sleep, pronto. I was thinking too deeply into it.

Finally, I saw my brother coming. He took his time walking, as if he didn't have a watch. It was like he didn't have any sense of time, ever. I chuckled to myself, knowing he didn't mean it.

"Hey, Rox!" he called, now picking up the pace.

"I will give you a trophy the day you ever come on time," I replied, "or a watch so you can try to attain that goal."

He gave me a blank look. "Don't tell me…"

"You're only ten minutes late, it's fine."

"Goddamn—" He looked at his watch. "I'm so sorry! I didn't realize—you must have waited for me! Ahh… I'm such a dolt!"

"No, you're just horrible with time. Really, Sora, no worries."

We began to walk through the mall, one store at a time. It was about four-thirty (I wasn't really keeping track of time) when we were passing the center of the mall, where the small food stands were. We decided to cut through the center since the shops we wanted to go to where on the opposing side of where we were. A glimpse of silver hair caught my eye, but I chose to ignore it—that is, until Sora saw it too.

"Riku!" The brunette made a beeline for him and hugged him. He looked as if he were seven. I grimaced, embarrassed that my twin brother would act in such a childish manner. I watched as Riku laughed and ruffled Sora's brown locks. That ticked me off.

"Sora! You surprised me!" Letting go of him, he saw me standing by. "Oh, hey, Roxas. Long time, no see?" As cheerful as he attempted to sound, we both knew our blood was boiling.

"Yeah. Crazy huh?"

Flames flickered in his eyes. I fought it was an icy glare. Out of the corner of my eye, I saw Sora become uneasy. "Well, uh, Riku! What are you doing here?"

Breaking the stare, Riku turned to Sora, smiling once more. Bastard. "I just got off work, so Mickey took me over. We're meeting up later."

"Ahh… then, wait, why did he drop you off?" Sora asked. "Is he around?"

"Somewhere in the mall. I actually have a little while—"

"Hold up," I interrupted. "You _worked_? It's a Saturday."

"I have a shitty paycheck, so I have to work almost every day. I hate to lay all the payments on Mickey, so I try my best to earn money." He looked desperate to defend himself.

I felt guilty for a moment—I had a paycheck with some high numbers and lived rather easily. Riku had just moved back to the islands, and didn't have enough schooling to have a decent job. Plus he had to be accustomed to his special needs concerning his health, so it would have to be a flexible schedule. I did feel bad for him—but that didn't mean I still didn't hate him.

"Why don't you come with us?" Sora asked, trying to deter the subject away from occupations. "Me and Roxas were just looking around."

"You don't mind?" The question was directed towards me. I really didn't want him to come along, but it's not like I had a choice.

"Whatever," was all I said.

"Come on! It'll be just like the old days!"

"What are you talking about? The three of us never hung out together—ow!" I rubbed my arm where Sora had stabbed me with his elbow. "Geez, man! You _scratched _me with your elbow! Are you dehydrated?" **(2)**

His cheeks began to flush pink. "_No… _just, shut up, don't make fun!"

Riku laughed. "Don't lecture me about getting my meds when you don't even drink enough water!"

I gave Sora a quizzical look, but only answered my unspoken question with a smirk. _'Don't worry about it; it's a joke between us.' _It was that smirk he used to give me back when Riku and he were best friends, the same one I loathed.

"Then let's go. Come on, this way." Sora tugged Riku's wrist in the direction we were originally headed, and I trailed behind, suddenly feeling like the third wheel.

* * *

_**X—X—X**_

* * *

"What's your deal? Why do you hate me so much?" 

Riku now turned his smile off and his temper on to ask me this question, as Sora was the only one who needed a pit stop in the restroom. I glowered at him, now unafraid to say how I really felt.

"You took Sora away from me," I replied. "He was _my _friend, but when you walked into the picture—"

"That's a lie. We were friends all throughout preschool and elementary. In seventh grade you started acting funny. Tell me the truth." Or perhaps I was afraid of the truth? I looked towards the wall. "The cement in that wall doesn't want to know, _I _want to. I never wanted to hate you, Roxas—"

"But you wanted to fuck Sora," I spoke quietly.

His eyes widened. "What?"

"I'm not stupid. I—I saw you two making out in his room, one night." I breathed a heavy sigh. The memory hurt me all over. I was going to ask Sora and Riku if they wanted to play a game, so I peeked into the crack of the door because it was oddly quiet…

There was the two of them on the bed, held in a tight lip-lock. My mind reeled—Sora… and Riku?

An initial wave of shock came over me. Sora liked another boy. It a sense it wasn't all _that _bad—I just found it odd. But then it hit me like a tidal wave…

Sora was with _Riku. _What would that mean? Would Sora totally ignore me for him? No, I wouldn't let him win.

And so, I began to hate Riku with all my being—and the friendship that we had went completely down the tube.

"Is that all?"

Three little words punched me like a sumo wrestler. Did he have no capability to _understand _how much it hurt me?! Was he just plain-down _stupid_?! "What… did you say?"

"That's all that upset you? That your brother was in a homosexual relationship?"

"That's not the _point_, Riku! You two were lovey-dovey… so was I supposed to be the third wheel?!"

"We never left you _unincluded_, Roxas. You separated yourself away from us."

"Just because you don't shut me out doesn't mean that I don't feel alone!"

Riku stepped back, emotionally socked by my exclamation. "That is…"

"I've never had a girlfriend, so I don't know what it's like to be in love, but you didn't have to rub it in my face all the time!"

"H-hey, now wait a second. We were in the closet, remember? How would you know—"

"I saw everything. The small hand-to-hand touches, simplistic smiles… it's not as if you were blatantly obvious, but… I already knew." _'And it hurt.' _But I didn't have the courage to admit the fact that my brother was in love and it stung… especially not to the bastard who had taken him away in the first place. I sighed, putting a hand to my forehead.

"Look, Roxas… I'm sorry. We didn't try it, really. We were just—"

"In love. I know." I was too stubborn to return the apology… and even having that in mind, I _still _didn't attempt to do the right thing. I wanted to blame Riku—actually, I wanted to give him a blow right to the nose—but I would keep my composure. For Sora's sake—and for the fact that we were in public.

"Sorry for the wait, guys!" Sora called, coming out of the bathroom. "I'm glad to see you two still alive."

I shot a silent glare at Riku, who only gave me a blank-face to look back at. But as my eyes drifted away from his stone-cold emeralds, I saw a blur of red pass by in the background.

"Hey, Sora—you hang out with Riku—I forgot about something I was supposed to do…"

"What?" Sora's voice was in the back of my mind. "Hey, but—today I was going to hang out with you—"

"You see me at work all the time. I gotta… I gotta go. Call me later then!" I nearly plowed into Riku as I ran through the crowd, never letting my eyes off the fire that traveled in the mall. People murmured many disgruntled complaints in my ear at my reckless nature but I hardly cared—all that was on my mind was my goal.

'_It's Axel. Commit it to memory.'_

"Axel!" I yelled, but didn't seem to hear my voice above the bustle of people. I shoved my way through a family and around another couple to reach him. "Axel!"

I knew he had heard my voice that time, because he had stopped in his place and looked around bewilderedly. "What the…"

"Axel!" I made him shudder when I touched a hand to his shoulder, and he spun around to see me. "Axel… man, what a coincidence, huh?"

For a moment confusion flickered in his green eyes and my heart sank. But then his face lit up in palpable realization. "Oh! …Roxas, right?"

"You remembered!" I said before I could stop myself, feeling my heart flutter in my chest.

The redhead wore a smile on his face and patted my head. I could not repress my scowl. "Of course I did. It's not very often I meet people in the middle of the night. Besides, my memory's not _that _bad." Chuckling, he gripped my hand and started to walk. "Hey, come on. Let's go do something."

"U-uh, wait!" I had only met this night the previous night, and already we were hanging out? Maybe there was something peculiar about Axel after all; I knew that I had wanted to get to know him better, but this was just weird.

"What?" He stopped in midstep. "Something wrong?"

"No, it's just…" I sighed. What did it matter if I told him how I felt? Why was it so hard? "We don't know each other at all, and you want to be with me? Why?"

It seemed like Axel was going to expect this answer, because he didn't even blink before replying, "You seem interesting and trustworthy. To be honest, you intrigue me. I want to get to know you. And if I don't like you, then fine, that's the way things work out. But if I don't get to know you, then there's the opportunity wasted. You must think I'm creepy, right?"

"Not creepy, weird." The words came before I could shove them in the back of my mind, and I blushed in immediate response. "That is…"

He laughed, tugging my arm slightly. "I don't mind weird. Weird can be good. I think you seem like a wussy."

The words stung, but at least he was _honest._ Maybe to a fault.

"But eh, who knows? Let's go, hmm?" Again he was in step, and I found myself walking by his side, even when he dropped my hand.

* * *

_**X—X—X**_

* * *

"You want to get something to eat?" 

The question was sort of random, and I popped my head up after burying my nose in the myriad of CDs. For some reason, we had ended up walking into the electronics store, and there I was, shuffling through the CD rack. I wasn't even sure what I had been looking for… maybe just for something to catch my eye.

"Mmm… what'd you have in mind?" When he mentioned it, my stomach began to growl.

"I don't know. We could go and get a soft pretzel… or maybe some Chinese if you're _really _hungry… I'm just throwing some ideas out here, whatever you want is fine by me. I'm not picky."

"Geh… a soft pretzel doesn't sound very filling. And I'm not hungry for Chinese."

Axel crossed his arms and sighed, a light smile on his lips saying that he wasn't _really _annoyed. "I said, 'whatever you want is fine by me.' You, unlike me, are picky, aren't you?"

I ignored the comment, continuing my search for anything mildly interesting. I picked up a purple CD with pink and white butterflies on it—which definitely caught my attention. Into the Bluewas a heavy metal rock band, so why the hell was their CD case covered in such feminine glitter and glamour?

"If you're not gonna choose, then I'll choose for you, whether or not you eat it. Let's go." Before I knew what was happening, I was being dragged out of the store by the arm.

"Hey, wait a moment! Knock it off! I still—"

A clerk was hurriedly coming towards us as a buzzer went off. I cringed inwardly, knowing exactly why.

* * *

_**X—X—X**_

* * *

"You could have just let me put the friggin' CD back on the shelf. But _no_, let's drag Roxas out of the store and make him look like a shoplifter." 

"It's not my fault that you didn't put it back."

"What the—gah!" I slammed my fists down on the table, attracting the attention of several other people from surrounding tables in the food court. "I told you to—" My original plan was to bitch and moan about how it was all _his _fault, but when I looked into those green eyes, I was paralyzed. They were mesmerizing with the way they glowed under the lights of the mall, and I wasn't sure if I was breathing anymore, and I just wanted to…

"Told me to what?" he asked as he stuffed his burger into his mouth.

"N-nothing." I shook myself out of my stupor and realized that Axel was _not _a polite eater. "Do you mind?"

"Whaf?" The redhead held a blank stare to my disgusted look.

"You look like you're trying to fit an entire _cow _into your jaw." I averted my eyes simply to make a point. In all honesty, I could probably watch him eat and not feel like puking… I had a strong stomach. "You're going to kill yourself that way."

He swallowed about half of his mouthful so that he could reply, "Better to kill myself while enjoying life than to slowly deteriorate in pain as an old man."

"Enjoying life constitutes _choking on meat on a bun_?"

"Sure, why not?"

"You're weird."

"And you're a wussy."

'_What a random comment. Stupid idiot.' _In fear that I would say something I would rue, I said nothing more while picking up a sub and taking a small bite, inwardly noting that I was going to enjoy my meal while not risking suicide.

"_I don't mind weird. Weird can be good. I think you seem like a wussy."_

When what Axel had said back to me finally sunk it, I chuckled in-between a bite. "Oh, I get it. Jerk."

He gave me a cocky smile while taking a huge handful of curly fries (taking care to show me that in fact, he had a superfluous amount of fried potatoes in his hands) and shoveled as many as he could into his mouth, several of them falling back on the table. I could not hold back the monstrous laughter that came… he was ridiculous, but for some reason, it made me happy.

* * *

_**X—X—X**_

* * *

The next time at work, I was caught in the midst of my lunch when Sora decided to pop his head in and ask the stupidest thing. 

"So, who was that guy?"

"What guy?" I asked, bewildered by his question.

"Don't play dumb. You know, the redhead that you ditched me and Riku for. I saw you two walking around the mall, laughing and such." Sora walked in and made himself a seat on my desk.

"Do you mind getting your ass off? I don't feel like tasting it in my lunch."

"Theeeen answer my question, Rox."

"His name is Axel." Satisfied that I had said anything, he pushed off with his hands and landed perfectly on his feet. "I met him the other day."

"How?"

I opened my mouth to respond, but I realized just how awkward the answer actually _was_. _"Well, you see, I was running around in the middle of the night and I just started talking to him. I totally disregarded the fact that he coulda mugged me, or shot me, or whatever. You know. So I saw him at the mall (which is why I ran off suddenly) and approached him again, fearlessly."_

Hmm… _real _smooth.

"I bumped into him on the street the other day, and we just started talking. I recognized him when I was at the mall." That was the truth, but I just so happened to leave out a few _irrelevant _details.

"Oh… I see. So you really _did _ditch us."

"No! I…" I peered up at Sora's face, which was shimmering with a sly smirk. "Fine, _yes_, I did. But it doesn't matter. I would have killed Riku by the end of the day anyway."

"I feel kind of guilty, though," Sora said. "It was supposed to be the two of us, and then Riku came up and…"

"Naw, don't worry about it. Like you said, I abandoned you in the end. Another day, Soda." **(3)**

"Ugh, I told you not to call me that. Just because we're of Japanese descent doesn't mean we speak Japanese."

I chuckled, picking up my bottle of water and freely chugging it. When I was done, I replied, "Can't help it. I think they should call you _Dr. Pepper_."

"You're so lame!" He picked up my Rice Krispie and threw it at my face. Good thing it didn't hurt… that much.

"You're gonna pay for that." I picked up my water bottle (which still had about a third of water left in it) and aimed it, when the door suddenly opened.

"Um, Dr. Blackwell, your next patient just signed in…" It was Olette.

"Another day, Rox." Sora strolled to the door, following the brunette out. "We'll finish our battle another day."

And he was gone. When the silence came, I realized that the first person that came to my mind was none other than Axel.

Did I… naw, that was stupid. I was thinking too much about Sora and Riku's relationship. I didn't… no…

* * *

**S/N: (1) – "Commit it to memory." I think it sounds cooler than "Got it memorized?" and I wanted to switch up the world a bit. **

**(2) – My friend told me that when you get dehydrated, one of the first places it affects your elbows—and the skin gets all dry. So if your elbows are dry, go drink more water!**

**(3) – Because Japanese R's are pronounced like soft D's, Sora's name is pronounced more like "Soda." xD **

**A/N: Wow. I totally forgot about this fanfic, seriously. Sorry.**

**For those of you who know me personally and know what's been going on for the past three weeks (or has it been four? I don't know anymore…) just be aware that this fanfic will **_**not **_**be a parallel of my life. I am **_**not**_** with anybody who would be cheating on someone else, so don't even get that idea. It was coincidential that I decided to pick this back up at this particular time. **

**For anyone else, don't bother to ask. **

**Oh, I am **_**so **_**going to Otakon! Anyone who wants to meet me in real life (wait… who the hell wants to meet **_**me**_**? Gahaha!) should send me a message or e-mail or something. I wanna meet people and feel special too! Eee…**


End file.
